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Quote

"I am immortal until God takes me home."

-John Wesley

The Multicultural Heaven

The other week I was meditating on what it means to be conformed to the image of His Son in THE day. Not just spiritually, but in the physical body. What does having a glorified body like Christ actually mean? I suppose we'll never really know until we come into glory. But an interesting realization I had was that I'll still be Chinese in heaven and not just another type of neutral "being," like the angels (or maybe the angels have ethnicity and distinction, who knows). Maybe that's not really new or profound to people, but I found this to be very significant on how I view myself, God, and other culture. The idea of being Chinese forever is quite shocking to me.

"After all these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; . . . ." Revelation 7:9

I think I've always kind of pictured heaven as just sort of this mass of perfected people who are generally perfect in the same way. That God has this ideal perfect image of Man and Woman, and we'll all end like that one day. Something like perfect Adam and Eves all around. Then the reality of God redeeming every tribe, tongue and nation had hit me--God truly values who he has made us ethnically, and we should also rejoice in the unique ways that God has created us. If God did not value each unique culture he has created, He would not be going through the trouble of ransoming for Himself people from even the most remote jungle tribes in South America, or the Nomadic tribes in Africa who might only have several dozen people in that particular people group. And why is God so concerned about gathering every type of people? Why doesn't He just use the quota system? Because as Steve Hawthorne points out, there's a way that each particular people group presents a unique love offering to God that no other group can give or replicate.

For the past few years, Drew and I have attended wonderful multicultural churches out of a partial conviction to worship with others of different background, culture, and ethnicity. The diversity we have been able to be a part of has been of great blessing and encouragement to our lives. I think at the same time, however, there has been a slight tendency to downplay our own "Asian-ness" in an effort to blend in more with church culture.

It really struck me the other week when we visited a Chinese congregation with my parents. It had been a really, really long time since either of us sat through something like that. And in a way, though I didn't understand much, I was really able to enjoy the richness of the culture reflected in the service. Most of the songs we sang were Chinese in style, and just a few songs were familiar tunes of hymns. There, I think I was overwhelmed with the realization that I could rejoice with them, with everything that they are, including their history, background, and culture, they presented a special worship to God. And that is awesome.

One day when we come into Glory, we will be part of a particular people group that will comprise the multitudes of tribes and tongues that John saw. In this life, this realization is profitable so that we can rightly rejoice in how God has made us. We should not go either extreme--one that touts exclusive "Asian Pride" (or insert any other ethnicity) or the other extreme that says that ethnicity doesn't matter at all and we shouldn't try to express our diferences. I guess it shouldn't matter too much if we're not completely in touch with our Mother roots, but what matters is that God has made us each unique in His image. And with everything He has made me, including how I express my worship to God through my culture/ethnicity, I give all glory to Him.

Anticipation...

Three big things I'm excited about this coming weekend:

1. Going to the Cal v. UCLA game! We're going with a bunch of different people from our social circles... A few friends from our current church, a couple from Cal, a couple from our old church, and a couple from my HS/Cal days. Go Bears!

2. I'm going to church with my parents! That sounds a little strange especially if you're a kid.

3. My new shiny powerbook has just shipped (from SHANGHAI of all places) and should be arriving Monday.

Holistic Renewal

This past week has been filled with a lot of blessings and busyness. Classes two nights a week (and soon to be three), plus all associated readings and homework have been pretty draining. Most of it is self-inflicted since I've found myself in overachiever mode, which is kinda strange since I've never really been an overachiever, or really much of an achiever in my life. Part of it stems from the issues written in the last post, but a lot of it actually is driven by the sheer enjoyment of it all. I think I might have found something that I enjoy doing and derive satisfaction from. It's just too bad that I didn't really seek to develop the creativity in my life earlier.

When I reflect back on my life, I figured I never really had that much creativity. I wasn't really into listening to music, I never had (and still don't) any style when it comes to fashion sense, was never into art, and I really can't draw. (I couldn't win a pictionary game if my life depended on it). The whole creative scene never appealed to me.

I'm finding that as I grow in my walk in the Lord, I've been able to see things in myself that I never thought were possible. I consider myself a intense introvert, and when I was growing up I was probably the shyest kid in the class. I hated being in front of people, oral book reports, and piano recitals. I was uncomfortable initiating conversation and really couldn't hold one that well for that matter. I still struggle with a lot of these things, but as I walked in the Spirit, I could see the Lord's hand in sanctifying me as a whole person.

I came to know the Lord in college, and I considered myself the least likely candidate for evangelism. With my inability to even hold a conversation, the thought of me sharing the gospel with people, --and particularly strangers-- was laughable. But whether it was a supernatural boldness or something else, something in me had changed. And for the first time I realized the power of the gospel was not just unto salvation, but for redeeming our entire person into the image of Jesus Christ. Through helping out with outreach in college, to engaging in contact evangelism, I knew God was renewing me in special ways to magnify Him in my life for I knew these were not a natural desires.

Though I still struggle immensely with pride and insecurity issues, the Lord has taught me to slowly let these insecurities go and give them to Him. There is so much power in meditating the end goal of God for man ... in that He is changing us into the likeness of His Son. Christ wasn't just perfect in His morals and actions, but He demonstrated His perfection in all areas of His life. Socially, emotionally, physically, He was the exact representation of the Father and that encourages me to no end that in this life He is seeking the same for us.

I think we tend to isolate our social, emotional, and personality from our spirituality for we think that they aren't part of what really matters. We think, oh I'm just socially inept and that's the way I'll always be. But I think God wants us to think past that ... to understand that the gospel is renewing the whole of the inner man. Though we struggle in the flesh here, I rejoice in the sanctification that the Spirit leads us in, and look forward to the day where we will all be changed in the twinkling of an eye.

Another praise/prayer note: For these many years of praying for and seeking to minister to my unsaved parents, they have the desire to God to church! This is especially a work of God since my father is very hostile to religion in general. Though I believe they are going for more social reasons, may God use the love of the church to bring them into the Kingdom. We'll be taking a small hiatus from our fellowship to visit with my parents, and help forge relationships with them there.Thanks be to God!

Made in His Image

Life has definitely been picking up in terms of busyness. I've started a few more design classes, which have been fun but a lot of work. I've also been learning a lot about my character through these design classes in particular. In our design classes, it's all about the crit...all your week's work is displayed up before everyone, and everyone gets to point out the good, the bad, and definitely the ugly. Since everyone's work is out in the open, there is definite comparing going on, and I see how my character is reflected in this activity ... that I hate it when others are better than me, and I revel in being better than others.

My long battle with pride in my life has crept up in this area, and I notice that it robs me of any joy and pleasure I might have in my creativity. One example was last week when we displayed our sketches and concepts for our intial logo. I was the last to go through the crit, but we have an opportunity to peruse everyone else's sketches before we start going through each individual's work.

I had my heart set on doing a concept that would work beautifully throughout the class. I did an entire section of my sketches dedicated to the concept, and even though we were only required to provide rough sketches, I was so motivated by this concept I had already went on the computer and provided more the refined ideas complete with type and diecuts.

Another student who had a small sketch of a similar idea to mine went ahead of me. She had more sketches of other concepts, but after we had finished her crit, she specifically pointed to the idea that was similar to mine and said how she could use diecuts, etc and if she could use that as her idea. I can't really tell you how much rage boiled in me after she said that. I felt positive she made that decision AFTER looking at my concepts and sketches. I could only hope that my more refined and plenteous sketches would vindicate me that this was MY idea. I decided then and there that she would be my enemy throughout the class.

During my crit, the teacher said that my concept was strong and encouraged me to go for it. I felt a little vindicated in that I felt more entitled to the concept than this other student. After class, I still felt angry, and I knew it coming before God. I asked Him to forgive me, and to continue to sanctify me in this area of my pride. That usually means a big lesson in getting humbled, which I don't look forward to. Arg. But I rejoice that I have such a God who guides and teaches me to rejoice in Him through my gifts and not in the gifts. for what do we possess that has not been given to us graciously by the Lord?

A little dusty in here, but that's ok. I'm starting to learn not to feel so guilty about doing everything so PERFECTLY in my life, and I guess that includes consistent blogging.

So great news is that 100% of the Wan family is steadily employed! What a praise and blessing from the Lord! Though this is my reminder that I should not let my dependancy stray away from the Him, but rather in all things lean on Him and His mercy.

In other news, the house is slowly, slowly, slowly coming together. We're almost done painting, and finally got our refrigerator a few weeks ago after 5-6 weeks of a college-reminiscent diet of ramen and eating out. With the struggle and process of home improvement projects I've been reminded of Proverbs 14:1 quite a bit: "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." And in my case, it's interesting to see how this passage fleshes out quite literally in my heart. Even now I still struggle as the foolish woman--complaining, nagging, discontent, fretting over things the many unfinished projects in the house. As I try to "build" up our home our physical/literal house, the metaphorical house, which is the godliness of our family, is being torn down with my foolishness.

God has been faithful to teach me these lessons through my wonderful husband, as he truly desires to nurture me in godliness and spurs me on to grow in maturity and humbleness. Praise God for marriage, and His ever-wise ways to love His children!

The Update that Conquered all Other Updates

So what's been going on you say? There have been a few new and wonderful happenings as well as continuing trials in the Wan world, so bear with me as I babble my way through my memory.

Still haven't found what I'm looking for...
Last August sometime, (around the last time I actually posted a decent blog) Drew unfortunately was laid off as the Quicken.com group at Intuit began to dissolve. It's been a long road since through various interviews, phone screens, browsing through job listings. God has continually testing our faith and trust in the area of provision and His sovereign will for us. He's even taken us on a road where we even entertained the thought of moving to Seattle as He provided an opportunity to interview with a company up there. As things turned out, the Lord closed the door on that opportunity graciously allowing us to remain with family and friends, and our new church! Much prayer is appeciated in this area...any leads, let us know!


and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near...
Another long and difficult journey that the Lord has taken us on was the search for a new body of believers to fellowship with. Though we very much treasured our old church, the teaching, the fellowship, the love ... it was no longer sustainable for us to remain there. Our hearts had been moving in increased desire to be trained for ministry, to disciple and be discipled, a women's group... things that our old church that could not provide. Leaving our church was one of the most sad and difficult decisions we've had to make, but we feel very much at peace and thoroughly blessed by our new fellowship, Berean Bible Church.

We've been part of their missions group for several months now, which has been very instrumental in reviving our cold hearts for God's Kingdom work among the nations. I can't tell you how much it shames me to see how far my heart has wandered from dreaming of Christ's name being hallowed to the ends of the earth...or even in my own life. It's been a long hard struggle to fight unbelief, complacency, and laziness to get myself to say with some measure of truth, Maranatha, Lord... Come quickly. It's a long road ahead, indeed.

Our new home away from home
One of the most exciting things to come along is God's gift of a semi-permanent home, through means of our very generous parents. When it seemed like house hunting had become wedding planning all over again--the lost weekends, the details, the research, the cost... God provided a great place my home town...Cupertino near the PBC south church. If you know where that is, you can take your hand at stalking us, or invite yourself over for some fellowship with us--as we're determined to use our home generously, as God has given it to us so graciously. Thanks for reading through, let us know how we can be praying for you!